Q. Are you taking a satellite phone?
A. No, too heavy, too expensive and who am I going to call if shit does hit the fan?

Most irritating question:

Q. Mate, I don't know why you didn't just buy yourself a new bike?
A. New bikes are costlier, still need spares which are costlier, often are as mechanically simple as older bikes, import/export duties from country to country are sky high.